All, Dating

Beyond the Ordinary – First Date Dos (and Don’ts)

First dates are a beautiful blend of excitement and a flutter of nerves, dancing on the edge of anticipation. Whether meeting someone new or taking the next step with someone familiar, the desire to make a lasting impression is natural. After all, this initial encounter often sets the stage for a long-term connection or a fleeting memory. 

While many elements contribute to a truly memorable first date, you’ll find that dancing the delicate line between being your authentic self and presenting your best side is often an obstacle that can occur.  But what does this balance look like, and how can you prepare for the unknown journey ahead? Here’s a guide of dos and don’ts to help ensure that your special occasion unfolds seamlessly with a touch of irresistible allure. 

Be Punctual

Arriving on time for a first date is setting the tone for the perfect beginning of a potentially beautiful story. It’s more than just being punctual but instead gestures to respect. Taking this step allows for a quiet moment where you are given the chance to breathe, calm those butterflies,  and let any lingering nerves slowly fade into the background. On the other hand, being late risks casting a shadow over what could have been an exceptional meeting, setting a tone of disappointment before the night has even had the chance to begin. 

Dress Appropriately

The first date outfit. This is one of those things that people either ponder endlessly or hardly consider. Whatever way you fall on the spectrum, what you wear can shape how you feel and the energy you put out throughout the night. Your outfit should be chosen to help you feel confident and comfortable while also harmonizing with the environment of the date. The elegance of a candlelit dinner calls for something entirely different than that of a carefree concert, each setting creating its own kind of charm. 

Woman preparing for a first date
She’s not getting ready for a date at the rock climbing gym…

Be Yourself

Authenticity is at the heart of a first date. The night consists of moments to dazzle, but the true magic happens when you remain true to yourself—taking a moment to share your likes, dislikes, and opinions with sincerity. This is the door to something more profound- the chance to discover if this person will cherish you for you. It’s within these genuine moments that the foundation for a true connection can begin to form. 

Show Interest

There are a variety of ways that you can display a genuine interest on a first date, one being willing to dive into your dating world. Now, this doesn’t mean asking their blood type or how many children they want; we’ll discuss why not to do that later. Asking about their passions, hobbies, and interests gives them space to open up and shows them that they are indeed seen and appreciated. Take note of what they share, let your eyes meet theirs, listen intently, and smile often. In these moments, your attention becomes a subtle gesture of affection and allows you to draw closer to the heart of who this person is. 

Keep the Conversation Light

This is the moment to make things sexy and playful. While we’ve already discussed why staying true to yourself is an essential part of a first date, so is letting loose and having fun with your date. Staying away from heavy topics and keeping the mood light and full of laughter is essential. Ask something dreamy like “If you could escape to anywhere else in the world right now, where would you go?” This sparks a fun, flirty exchange while revealing a glimpse of the chemistry you might share and similar desires. Let the connection unfold in a way that feels exciting and spontaneous. 

Have a Backup Plan

Some things on a first date are simply beyond your control – like an unexpected downpour or a fully booked restaurant. This is where a little foresight can detour a potential mishap into a magic moment. Having a backup plan ready if the need to pivot arises can help prevent a potentially disastrous evening. With a smooth change of course, you can keep the night flowing effortlessly, letting the romance unfold without a hitch. 

Don’t Talk About Your Ex

Everyone has a past, and it’s only natural to want to share your story, especially in those quiet moments. But on a first date, bringing up your ex is best left untouched. Doing this can cast a shadow on the evening, making it appear that your heart still lingers in the past – a “red flag” in the eyes of many. Instead, focus on the present, savor the connection, and let the future blossom in front of you. Embrace the now and let the evening be about the possibility of something new rather than the echoes of what’s behind you. 

Don’t Overuse Your Phone

We’ve all been tempted to reach for our phone when a conversation begins to slow; however, doing so can unintentionally send the message that your attention lies elsewhere instead on your date. To keep the first date intimate and engaging, silence your phone and tuck it away. By disconnecting from distractions, you open the door to truly connect with the person you are with. Let the moments be shared face to face and become the heart of the evening. 

Couple on a first date without phones
Be in the moment, silence your phone and tuck it away.

Don’t be Negative

We all have those days when the world feels heavy, and it’s easy to let the weight overshadow the good. But venting about a demanding job or past frustrations can quickly dim the mood on a first date. Instead, let the conversion be natural and fresh. Share the things that light you up, the moments that bring you joy and happiness. By keeping the energy light and positive, you’ll create a space where something exciting can occur. 

Don’t Drink Too Much

Navigating a first date that involves alcohol can be a delicate dance. As nerves surface and feelings begin to form, it’s tempting to let a drink take on the pressure of easing the tension. But this is where the atmosphere can shift from playful and flirty to a little too chaotic in the blink of an eye. Savor a drink or two, but also keep in mind that you’re in the process of crafting a first impression. Let the evening be a blend of laughter and connection.

Don’t Dominate the Conversation

A first date is a give-and-take performance, a two-way exchange where two strangers share an experience. It’s essential to avoid dominating the conversation. Instead, let it flow naturally like a gentle waltz. Each of you should have the opportunity to lead and follow, weaving in and out of stories to a harmonious beat. Embrace the art of conversation. 

Don’t be Too Forward

Remember that your feelings may not yet align with those of your date. Being too forward can be the quickest way to an uncomfortable situation. It’s essential to approach the evening with gentle grace. Honoring your date’s personal space and boundaries is crucial if you want to make a lasting impression. Let the magic of intimacy unfold naturally. 


A first date is a delightful journey of discovery, where you are given a unique chance to explore the chemistry between you and someone else. The secret lies in relaxing, being true to yourself, and letting the conversation ebb and flow. This is the most beautiful moment in discovering if romance awaits. If the connection is meant to blossom, following these simple dos and don’ts will allow it to unfold naturally, revealing the magic within the moments you share.